You Can Have Peace & Cry
From this place of unexplainable peace, I have not cried. I have not been overly emotional. Nope. Not one tear. Crazy right? Me…the girl who cries watching commercials, sappy movies, talking about my kids, literally anything can make me cry. Except a cancer diagnosis.
That 2:21 am phone call to Hubby Daddy. Didn’t cry.
Thorosentis to remove fluid from my lungs. Didn’t cry.
Sharing the news with my tribe. Didn’t cry.
What is the world is wrong with me? Until I did…
Friday was NORMAL. My first day of normal since Monday, August 31st. I got up, morning routine, dropped Jude at school. It is JEANS DAY at my school site. I am armed with my coach notes, a smile, and let’s get back to normal attitude. I attended a zoom professional learning, visited classrooms, met with teachers, high-5 a kiddo, met with the principal. Oh, the blessing of normal when it isn’t normal anymore. That afternoon we had our regional coach team meeting face to face. I discussed with our leads this would be a good opportunity to share with my team what has transpired. I work with an incredible team of women. The BEST of the best in ABSS! We are fierce, passionate, smart, loving, caring, creative, and we have been through it in our roles together. These are the type of women that cheer for you no matter what. We’ve got each other’s backs. It is a beautiful thing to be a part of such a team. As the meeting came to a close I knew my turn was coming. My chest suddenly tightened and my heart was pounding so loud I couldn’t think. I knew what I wanted to say…I’ve said it many times now. Why is this happening? Before I opened my mouth the tears FINALLY came. My eyes went blurry. And as I looked at each face knowing what I was about to say would shock them. I know it, I’ve recently been in their shoes and I can tell you exactly where I was when I got that phone call. As I start to speak…I finally CRY! Bless my neighbor who turned into my teammate who has become a dear friend stood up beside me and held me together as I shared my news with my team. I saw everyone’s faces behind those masks. I know it…shocking. I am shocked…I am CRYING! But this is where I know He is already there. Another beautiful soul asked if it was okay with me and with everyone in the room if our team laid hands on me (figuratively…because Covid) and pray for me and my family. You guys…we PRAYED in school! It was the most beautiful, sincere prayer and I felt Him. I can be in complete peace and still cry.
God’s got this. It is going to be okay.
Join us in prayer and follow along here on our journey through the storm.